Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
