One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
look no pants
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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