i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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