you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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