just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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