Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
