For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
