airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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