is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
