The maid of honor just puked.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
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