Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
