My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She even gives head with a lisp.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
