i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize