Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
