she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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