Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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