arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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