just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
