On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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