is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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