you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
