the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
