you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
