It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just google imaged poop.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
