Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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