I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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