don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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