maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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