I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
