i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
