ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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