i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
