her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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