Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
