I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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