What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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