I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
