p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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