I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
