i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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