shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The uberlube is also flammable
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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