Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
