Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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