so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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