Me. At least after what I've been through.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
