my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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