I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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