Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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