I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
