my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
