if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
...so i touched it.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize