somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
wow bdsm is so cute
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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