The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
