well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize