4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
