I puked a lego.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
