am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
