none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
