i already hear my dad disowning me
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
